>be me, 20 yo male uni student5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.
>meet a girl at a lab, has "kind" eyes and a generally kind disposition
>keeps asking me for help for our labs and other work, help her as I do anyone else who asks me for help
>one day, we go out for lunch after class, develop a crush on her, ask her out a week later in a public space in broad daylight where she can easily say no
>agrees to go on a date, feelsokayman.jpg
>see her at school a few days later, completely ignores me when I try to talk to her, runs past me after class
>feel like I was punched in the gut, my other female friends tell me she might be thinking about it
>when it happens again a few days later, I text her telling her she seems uncomfortable and doesn't have to date me if she doesn't want to, she agrees
>feel a bit sad but I don't take rejection personally, leave her alone because I don't want to make her uncomfortable
>a few days later she comes up to me during lunch to say hi, I offer her the seat beside me as there are no other empty seats in the lunch area
>mostly just stay quiet as I continue working on my laptop, she offers to help me when she figures out I'm stuck on part of my lab
>accept the help, feel good that I didn't lose a friend entirely
>december break and covid leave me stuck at home for 1.5 months, don't really talk to her or see her
>winter semester starts, she asks me to join her lab group for a course we're taking together, I agree, we left off on decent terms
>we spend a lot of time together during the winter semester, talking to each other and sitting beside each other throughout class, work together on labs late at night, go out for dinner and lunch a bunch of times after school
It was all subconscious. Her rational self wanted to stay, but the proposal put strain on the relationship and she finally caved in to it.
Don’t overthink it. Humans are complicated, and there are plenty of other people out there.
Hmm, maybe you're right. I don't know how I should treat her when I inevitably see her again
Just pretend you didn't notice her, what happened to you also happened to me, I just memory hole'd her from existence in my case. People have more important things to care about.
Perhaps she's involved with someone else and is trying to extricate herself from what she sees as an awkward relationship?
Plus, I learned the hard way that being smooth with people gets you more results than being straight up blunt.
I've had people tell me since I was a kid that I was one nasty, rude young man but since I got into uni and read Robert Greene and Dale Carnegie, I realised flattery rubs the sweet spot for most people.
Tl;dr: Try to be more subtle when pointing out flaws and chip in a word or two of flattery in conversations.
Also if you're well off you could send her something nice. A book or a string of pearls.
Good luck, Anon!
Anon I used to be like you. I think you are a normal guy who overthinks things due to insecurity/lack of experience and you are a little socially awkward around women. Nothing wrong with any of that.
I don't think you ever had a chance with this girl. I think she knew you liked her so she kept you around for lab help and attention/validation. She leaned on you for emotional support and relief from boredom. She tried to turn you into a beta orbiter but you weren't happy with that role.
Next time you need to look out for clear indicators of interest when talking to girls. Brushing their hair, laughing at everything you say, hitting you playfully, etc. Some girls do this to every guy to lead them on so you have to be careful and test them (this is a whole art of its own) to see if they actually like you or just want attention.
The fact of the matter is that it's a GAME when you talk to women. It's no fun if you just admit you like the girl, game is over at that point. It's a push and pull. That tension builds attraction. There are times when you need to stop chasing her and let her chase you. That initial game phase creates an emotional imprint on a woman's mind that she can reminisce about until she's old and grey.